8 results for month: 05/2013


My girls are fierce. And other parenting lessons

My children are so very different. They are different from me and from Carlos. They are different than when I was a child. And they are most importantly, different from each other. My oldest daughter is very strong, very frugal, and very motherly. She is running her family and her life, she has everything figured out. She is the easiest. She always listens. It doesn’t mean she does exactly what we ask her to do. But she always listens. I used to spend hours talking with her about everything. From a very young age, she and I were the closest. But my kids have changed. Our relationships have changed. She has always been very responsible, taking ...

They don’t understand me

Raising children. My children don’t always understand me. But I suppose that’s universal, regardless of parent/child, culture, country, or era. At different times, they understand me on different things. But now, no. they don’t understand the reason that I am writing this blog. I have three extraordinary children. My middle daughter is living with me currently. She knows I’m not flashy, I’m utilitarian. She sees my writing and my competition as play. We are all in the last stage of our lives: it’s now or never. My husband understands me the most, but there are still times when he doesn’t. I’m not upset about being ...

What was my daughter thinking? What was I thinking?

“What did the voicemail say? You left me this voicemail that simply said, ‘I‘m ok. But I fell. And I think I broke my leg.’ There was no, ‘call someone,’ or ‘I’ll be at such and such hospital,’ or anything. I was in California, and I couldn’t get a signal. You were in Missouri, all by yourself, and I’m picturing a desolate country gun range with no one in sight.” My daughters still remind me of my call. Mu husband wasn’t reachable because he en route to Florida, my oldest daughter was in California and my other daughter was leaving for China. So I’d left voicemails for them all. But I don’t need people hovering. ...

Vera Koo sidelined for the 2013 Bianchi Cup

I believe in two things: Firstly, Everything happens for a reason. Secondly, You should live a life without regret. Even with those two overriding life principles, I still must look up to God when looking back to my past few months. Today, I’d planned on competing for my 9th Bianchi Cup title, the NRA National Championships held annually in Missouri. I trained for the past year to compete in the event. And yet, in my final weeks of training before the Cup, I found myself praying not for strength and will power during the Cup, but rather, praying for the strength and will power to drag my broken body to safety. Two weeks before the ...

Buy your own flowers.

I don’t expect anyone to understand me. I know where I am going, and I know and understand myself. Without the expectation of other people understanding you, I think that you can be much happier. After my son had died, and many years later after other family traumas, I remember sitting waiting for people to pity and sympathize with me, and to understand what I was going through. But it’s like waiting for someone to bring you flowers. I am now at the age and the realization that if I want flowers, I will go out and buy them for myself. You can wait for sympathy and pity, but you are wasting your time. I don’t expect people to ...

Shing ping

There is a Chinese word that sounds like: Shing Ping. It means having harmony in your heart and no axe to grind. Whether in competition, or in daily life, you are not fighting to win. You are not fighting to beat someone else. Fight to do a better job for yourself. Battle to do a job well. Whether you are in a peak or a valley of your life, be kind, forgive, and think about life’s longevity. On your darkest days, just kneel down. And pray. Help and hope will be there. My third child, Brian, died at 13 months. It took me a long time to find harmony in my heart after his death. I had two daughters that we loved. But the death of a child ...

A life of peaks and valleys

Life is about the peaks and the valleys. To say that nothing excites you or nothing upsets you is dangerous. I’m not like that. I am the first one to get excited about something, to be energized, to be fulfilled. But there is a price for that. You have to pay a price for everything that you’ve gained in your life. Look for what excites you. Have a schedule. Seek a pressure. So many peers don’t want pressure, but it’s not for me to say, I like it, and you have to like it. But seriously, you only have one life to live. Experience the peaks of life, the zeal and the excitement. Otherwise, why are we here? We are here for 70, 80, 90 years. ...

Tiger mothers… for the greater good?

Tiger mothers, part II For my generation, we come from that kind of training. But my parents didn’t think that way. It was common knowledge that that was how you raised. You take up piano, you practice every day, even if you don’t like it. It was disciplinarian. I told my girls: if you like piano, if you love it: I will drive you, and I will pay: but you have to practice and love it. I will not sit next to you and force you to practice. Amy Chua’s view is not shocking to me. In some instance, maybe we will make a child who would not otherwise have any special achievement, give them discipline. It will open other windows. Any time ...